Avoiding Change is Avoiding Service

Recently I’ve been told I need to “up my social media game.”

Here’s why I don’t want to: Because I think social media is stupid and I don’t want to change.

Here’s the rub: I want to be invited to speak at more events, I want to share more ideas, I want to partner with more companies to lead workshops for their teams - and everyone I speak with tells me I’m not going to reach more folks unless I devote more time to sharing on social.

I could give you all the reasons why I think being present with the people in front of you in real life is better than staring at a screen, but I’m beginning to see my preferences aren’t the point when it comes to doing work in service of others. Ah, again I’m reminded life isn’t about me.

My greatest aversion to more social media is rooted in my belief everyone should see the world the way I see the world. In my opinion, all people should want more authentic relationships, learn how to be content in stillness and see the beauty in the simplest of moments without needing to turn to digital distractions because real life is boring or awkward.

Yet, no matter how cantankerous I get, I’m not going to change others. I’m realizing by refusing to change myself and my methods I’m actively avoiding serving the folks I claim to serve. There’s a reason people do what they do and I’m missing a chance to understand them when I refuse to modify my behavior.

How many of us miss out on opportunities to add value to others because we’ve determined they’re not able to receive our help in the way we want to deliver it? In this social media example, the folks I want to support are already congregating around a watering hole and there I am a few miles away trying to dig a new well, frustrated at them for not waiting in line for me to hit water.

I’m reminded when it comes to working with others it’s helpful to understand who they are already trying to become, then come alongside them and flow where the water already flows instead of believing we’re the genius who’s going to invent a new way. We can spend our time being mad at people for not being the way we want them to be in the near-term, or we can remain focused on our larger objective of helping them see the world differently and get busy gaining their trust so we can make some long-term impact.

So for me, I must remember my message isn’t changing - just the medium. And my unwillingness to change has more to do with judgement of others, which is rooted in my own fear of being judged for doing social media wrong.

It normally comes back to our own fear, doesn’t it?

Moving forward might we be honest with ourselves and see where we’re avoiding service by avoiding change. May we remember moments in our lives we’ve been able to grow because someone else adapted their worldview, spoke our language and met us where we were.

Changing isn’t really that big of a deal if we decide it’s not that big of a deal. There’s more cheese out there if we’re willing to grow up and get out of our comfort zone.

See you on Insta.

Cover photo by Gene Taylor on Unsplash