Am I the only one who feels unqualified?
I get out of bed to grab a drink of water; I'm anxious about tomorrow and can't sleep.
Before getting back in bed, I look out across Fort Worth, Texas, from my hotel room. Only a few lonely lights checker the downtown buildings. Beads of water hang to the windows after a brief, but thunderous downpour. The roads are quiet.
But my mind is not quiet. It's nearly midnight and I'm anxious about a workshop I'm delivering the next morning, followed by a keynote in the afternoon. Since I can't fall asleep, I decide to watch a movie. I then sleep poorly, and wake up early the next morning to take care of final prep for the presentations.
As I walk to the venue, the sun warms the sidewalk; there's still moisture in the air from the storm last night. It's peaceful, but I'm nervy. Stepping into the elevator, I try desperately to get into the right frame of mind, but I feel like an impostor.
The first workshop I'm going to deliver is about time management, but it feels disingenuous - because, like an idiot, I stayed up way too late watching Skyscraper starring Dwayne Johnson, then arose way too early to sip bad hotel lobby coffee and prep last-minute.
And I'm about to tell the attendees of this workshop that they need to prioritize good sleep hygiene and prepare for things ahead of time.
What a mess - they're going to see straight through me, I think.
This is when an email notification buzzes my phone; it's a message from one of the guys in my daily reflection group.
And just like that, the fear goes away.
Some context: I belong to a group of guys who, every day, reflect on a theme for the month - like choosing to let go of our expectation for how life should unfold. Every morning, each of us emails the group, sharing a brief reflection of how that month's theme applied to the prior day.
The gift of this daily practice is discovering that, on any given morning, at least half of the group is experiencing some sort of shame, fear, or self-doubt. This group consists of CEOs, PhDs, entrepreneurs, and go-getters - yet, every single day, half of us wonder if we've got what it takes.
That's because, the truth is, every day we're all doing what you and every other human is doing: Learning as we go. We're waking up, giving it our best shot and trying to do a bit better than the day before. (Or, sometimes not) We're all filled with doubts about or worth and potential.
I saw Ed Mylett speak at a conference last year, and he said something powerful: "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called." He then goes on to say that we're all called to something.
Regardless of your concept of God, you get the point. No one's perfect, we get qualified along the way, experience comes from imperfect action, etc. The cosmic question isn't about certification, it's about whether we answer the invitation to participate in our life.
There's something powerful when we can let go of the expectation that we'll ever be perfectly qualified or 100% prepared. Because, in the end, those lofty expectations don't do much for us other than:
Cause us to negatively evaluate our current status (thinking we'll never be qualified enough)
Prevent us from jumping in the ring and participating (because we're waiting until we're really ready)
I finish reading my buddy's email reflection right as the elevator arrives at the top floor where the workshop will take place. Exiting the elevator, I step back into my life - grateful to be reminded that no one else feels perfectly qualified, either.
I get my computer hooked up to the projector and, as the workshop attendees file in, guess who I meet?
Regular people.
Normal folks like you and me who've probably already made a handful of mistakes on their way to the session. And, despite our collective imperfections, we charge into a workshop about time management and all get a little clearer on how to best focus our attention, so we can spend our precious time on what matters most.
This lesson that we're not more or less qualified than anyone else is a lesson I seem to learn, then forget, then learn again, only to forget again. According to my mentor, that means it's a really important lesson.
Yes, we should prepare, yes we should improve, and yes, we owe it to those we serve to show up as the best version of ourselves. All of that is worth remembering.
And...the energy we use to doubt ourselves is not energy well spent.
Either we're all unqualified or we're all qualified.
I wonder which way you'll see it today?
P.S. My first book goes on presale this month! It's titled, Too Emotional: Overcome the Thunderstorm of Feelings, Shame & Self-Doubt. I wrote it for people who fear they're unqualified and, as a result, get lost in unhelpful emotions and miss out on their life. If you'd like to be notified when it goes on sale, hit reply and let me know!
