Essays on Finding More Meaning in Life & Work
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No one's perfect. We get qualified along the way and experience comes from imperfect action. The cosmic question isn't about certification, it's about whether we answer the invitation to participate in our life.
What if the desire to be remarkable has kept us from the freedom and peace that come with accepting the gift of being unremarkable. No one is more special than the other. It is normal people living regular lives who will change the world.
Where in your week do you notice yourself putting your head down and pressing the gas? Maybe it gets you from Monday to Friday, but what are you missing along the way? We miss our lives when we measure time in minutes and months instead of memorable moments.
We can overcomplicate personal growth and the process of maturation, but growing up (which takes a lifetime) is really quite simple. All we need to do is bring consciousness to the moments we resist growing up.
Most of us miss the chance to truly connect with one another or garner support for something we care about because we haven’t taken the time to reflect on the language we should use to describe ourselves and what matters to us.
Most people I know don't like to have things done to them. We don’t like to be fixed. We don’t enjoy being projects. What people really want is connection.
We only get a certain amount of energy each day. The most effective (and peaceful) people are conscious about where they direct their energy, and are selective about the thoughts, feelings, activities, and relationships they fuel.
We make assumptions about the judgement we receive from others because we constantly judge ourselves. We must remember peace on the outside comes from peace on the inside and acceptance on the outside comes from acceptance on the inside.
We grow most when build relationships with those who have travelled the journey we're currently experiencing and have faced the types of challenges we wish to endure. Finding a mentor who can show you your blind spots is priceless - and perhaps the most important thing you can do for your growth.
When we bring awareness to our patterns of behavior, we can understand the mindsets driving our daily actions. Then, we can consciously double-down on the helpful mindsets and work to eradicate the unhelpful ones by replacing them with better stories.
When people ask us, "So...what do you do?" - they're giving us a gift. They are opening the door for us to show them how much our work means to us, and inviting us share what we want out of life without looking like a used car salesman. They are nudging us to turn a regular interaction into a moment of real connection.
Maybe it's not about disciplining ourselves into doing more as much as it's about deepening our lived experience and creating more meaningful moments that matter.
I'm at my best when I can remember it's the small and simple decisions I make minute-by-minute that add up to the person I am becoming. This, in turn, opens the door for truly creative solutions to problems which once seemed insurmountable.
You can recognize a healthy relationship or a healthy team by paying attention to the way they ask for help and meet the needs of one another.
When we're insecure and people question our decisions or ideas we think it's a judgement on our very being. And this prevents us from building healthy teams and learning from the perspectives of others.
Emotional maturity is not about mounting an attack against pain and unsavory circumstances so we can find happiness again; real growth is about honing our ability to feel joy in the midst of whatever is going on.
We must fall in love with the process of growth, not our fantasies about the end result.
A love letter to anyone who has ever wanted all the results without any of the effort, and a gentle reminder that, whether we like it or not, we become who we practice being.
Our brains were designed to keep us safe. They weren't designed to help us grow up into secure, clearheaded adults. It’s up to us to bring awareness to our current mindsets and learn to differentiate between helpful thoughts and unhelpful thoughts. This is the beginning of growth.
If we can understand empathy in a different way, perhaps we can learn to contribute what we all need more of right now: Connection.
What if your growth wasn't about doing more things with more intensity? What if it was about finding clarity and digging deep into who you are—who you've always been?
Sometimes we try to prove we have value when we're insecure in our identity. And sometimes we hide out of fear when we feel our worth is threatened. We prove and hide because we're unable to see with clarity that we don't need to be affirmed by anyone to feel a sense of worth. The good news is we can feel a sense of worth all the time if only we do the work to recognize our fears.
Making time for relationships can feel like a burden. There is an endless list of things we must get done - and let's be honest, sometimes it's more fun to work or accomplish tasks than be with people! But I also know the rich feeling of gratitude I feel when driving home after spending time with people who matter (even if at first I complained about having to go). When we look back, it is shared experiences and connection - not being a person of action - which bring most meaning to our lives.
I’m the first person to get frustrated when a random conversation derails my plan for the day. But the more I learn, it seems meaningful connection with others might be what we've been looking for all along.
I don't know about you, but I've spent too much of my life worrying about taking the right job, or stressing about how to get out of a difficult season, or delaying starting a business - because I want all the answers up front. But the answers we're looking for don't come until we begin moving in a certain direction. When we dance with what's in front of us - with no expectation of certainty - clarity and wisdom our rewards.
And why we all desperately need you to be exactly who you are.